Dancing with Children..what a gift!

I have to pinch myself at times..
Where else can you dance with wonderful 4-, 5- and 6-year old children?
When else should we let our own innocent free spirits fly high and just enjoy the moment?



I had the honour (and privilege) to step on stage with some of the lovely children from my childcare centres 3 weeks ago and danced with them, in front of over 250 parents during this year's Graduation Concert 2008. And what energy indeed from these musically gifted children ..raw and unbridled. And they hardly required much in terms of directions from our teachers to dance their moves to this catchy Bollywood favourite, "Bole Chudiyan".

What an "encore", children! (did we teach you, or did you teach us teachers instead?)

I am just so lucky to be able to receive these moments of joy and laughter from the children. Thank you, children (and my teachers) for shining "your light" on me on that day and allowing me to dance with you .. what a gift indeed that you have given me that day! (thank you, parents too!)

Malacca - Our Spiritual Home..

For the Peranakans, Malacca is regarded by many as their spiritual home. For us, Malacca is much more than our spiritual home, for that was where we were borned!

2 years ago in Oct '06, one of the first places I wanted to go to, after the end of my chemo treatments, was Malacca. Somehow, when I am there, I feel "whole". It is a rather strange feeling, perhaps one that comes out of being so close to my own mortality just 2 years ago, and is hard to explain.

This time during the Deepavali holiday, with Mum and sis in tow, we took to Jonker Walk like we were just there, 2 years ago. We visited Mum's sister, who lives there and it was evident on our faces that we enjoyed this small 'reunion' of sorts, everytime we walk on the streets of Malacca.

These 2 photos, 2 years apart, really showed how far I have come, since the chemo days.

I will surely continue to go to Malacca, and renew my spiritual side of my life, every year if I can..

Not Giving Up..

I was glad to read this news article today, and more importantly, to see this good man successfully fighting his cancer. More power to this "NKFbuster"!


Not Giving Up..

WHEN the doctor asked 'Mr Charity' Gerard Ee to sit down, he knew the news about his colon check was not good.

'I told the doctor I'd watched enough movies to know that when the doc says take a seat, it's bad news,' recalled Mr Ee yesterday. 'I told him: 'Don't waste my time, tell me what the outcome is.''

The doctor replied: Stage 3 colon cancer, with a tumour almost as big as a tennis ball.

Patients at this stage of colon cancer are said to have a 40 per cent survival rate on average. 'If the cancer was Stage 4, I'd be a goner,' said Mr Ee.

For the veteran volunteer and charity personality, this marked the beginning of a period of contemplating the possibility of death and what it would mean for those around him, especially his wife and teenage children.

Almost a year since that day in the doctor's clinic, the 59-year-old came out in public yesterday to share the story of his fight against the dreaded Big C.

He did so to show his support for a campaign by the Lien Foundation to get people talking more openly about death and dying.

The campaign coincides with the Government's move to promote the Advance Medical Directive, a legal document to instruct doctors not to take extraordinary measures to prolong life if one is terminally ill or unconscious. The Lien Foundation's chairman, Mrs Margaret Lien, said of the campaign: 'A lot of unnecessary burden and pain can be avoided if we can talk about end-of-life matters openly.'

For Mr Ee, a retired accountant who is currently chairman of the National Kidney Foundation (NKF) and Public Transport Council, the past year has meant undergoing surgery to remove the tumour and 12 sessions of chemotherapy.

The good news is that he is now 'in the clear' since finishing his last round of chemotherapy in June.

Looking back, he said what helped him through the year was his faith in God, a sense of humour and the fact that he had put his finances in order. The devout Catholic said: 'People were surprised I was so calm throughout the whole thing. I think if I didn't have a strong faith in God, I would have been in a panic.'

His calmness helped his wife, 15-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter to accept the diagnosis as well.

'I tried to avoid using dramatic words like 'tumour' when I broke the news to my family,' he said. 'I said: 'I have a growth that needs to be operated on.' I knew that if I was hysterical about it, it would have had a chain effect on others.'

Mr Ee was hard-pressed to answer when asked what proved most difficult for him in facing up to cancer. But he confessed to being worried before the surgery to remove his tumour.

'There are only two outcomes: you wake up, or you don't,' he said. 'If you don't wake up, that's the end of the story and my will and life insurance would take care of what happens after that.
'But if you wake up, you have to figure out what to do after that.'

He woke up. And what he did after that was work to keep his spirits up.
He had a rule for his family: No one was allowed to treat him like an invalid.
So he drove himself to chemotherapy sessions and, within two weeks of the operation, was back to performing a host of volunteer commitments.

The surgery involved removing a part of his small intestine, over half a metre of large intestine and his appendix as well. Over the whole process, he also lost 25kg.

'Having a sense of humour is important. I told my friends I had a free liposuction with the operation,' he said.

After keeping his illness private for a year, the Lien Foundation campaign gave Mr Ee a chance to share what he had gone through.

He thinks it is important to get people to prepare for death. Among other things, their families may suffer if they fail to settle their finances before they go.

He said: 'The only thing in life you can guarantee, and nowadays people talk about guarantees, is death.

'If you treat death as taboo and don't prepare for it, you are leaving behind a legacy in which your family will suffer because you ignore it and pretend it won't happen to you.'

theresat@sph.com.sg
13Nov08, ST

Run for Hope 2008..

6.45am, the fresh smell of a light sea breeze and an inquisitive morning sun peering through the clouds .. what a lovely combo for this year's Run for Hope 2008 this month at the East Coast beach.

About 7,000 runners turned up this year to support the annual 'Run for Hope' event to raise funds for cancer research.

It's a lovely sight to see so many of us taking the initiative to give $35 per head to this most worthy of charitable causes.

Yes, it's nice to just be able to join in this effort..my 3rd consecutive Run since my chemo days. Many more to come, I know.

>>gleefully ntangle

"I have never seen a sunset before.."

Have you seen a real sunset lately?

This video on the sun setting on the Greek island of Mykonos was the first time I have seen one in all its glory.

Take a look at it again..it is such an amazingly relaxing sight. One minute of pure food for the soul, really.

In broad daylight, this is how the island looks..magical.

>>gleefully ntangle

CNA's TV program on "A Journey of Hope"..

3 weeks ago, Dr Ang Peng Tiam's office called to asked if I would be supportive of a TV program on cancer, called "A Journey of Hope". I naturally said "Yes, of course".. anything I can do to help support such a cause, I would be more than glad to do so.

Until.. I realised that I was supposed to be one of the subjects on the TV program itself! The program was to show how ovarian cancer has impacted women in Singapore, how it is now the 4th highest cancer incidence hitting women here, and how some women, afflicted by it, had been dealing with and managing this form of cancer.

"You mean I will be filmed for it.. on camera?", I asked the good doctor.

Yes, this would be the 1st time that I would be put on film.. and on TV!

I decided that it would be a worthy cause.. sharing my story, and in a way, going public. CNA wanted to film me in natural settings, so the producer, a lovely lady called Amelia, decided that the shoots would best be taken in the childcare centre where I work, and the East Coast Park, where I spend my relaxation hours.

I sms'd Hubby to ask if he was ok with it. He replied, "Sure, so long as it doesn't impact your health"..in his usual tongue-in-cheek way.

And so, on Wedn 03 Sept, the 5th episode of "A Journey of Hope" was aired. It featured 2 other fellow ovarian cancer warriors. One as young as 18. How can this be? Why is this cancer hitting women at a younger and younger age? It just doesn't seem right that this is happening.

After watching the episode in full, I was glad I plucked up the courage to support this program. The message on ovarian cancer must be told to more women. Only with an increase in awareness, can this insidious cancer be minimized, if not stopped.

Here are a few clips of this 5th episode on "A Journey of Hope".. (this battle on ovarian cancer must start with a higher awareness, then knowledge, then courage..and then there shall be hope!)

/gleefully ntangle

Stand Up 2 Cancer telethon takes over network TV

No one does this better than the US..when it comes to raising awareness of a global campaign, there's no equal. We sat watching this amazing gathering of stars with one aim in mind..rid the world of cancer. $100m raised so far..
There's hope for us all, not just cancer patients or cancer survivors like me.. but all.

/gleefully ntangle

Stand Up to Cancer telethon takes over network TV
By SANDY COHEN – 2 days ago
LOS ANGELES (AP) —

Skateboarder Tony Hawk, actor Shemar Moore and other celebrities said they joined in a three-network cancer telethon on Friday because the disease had touched or taken the lives of loved ones.

Hawk, who lost his father to lung cancer 15 years ago and a close friend to a brain tumor last month, called the timing of the Stand Up to Cancer telethon "poetic."

"I'm here doing whatever they ask of me," he told reporters before the telethon began. "As long as I don't have to sing or dance, it's all good."

Stand Up to Cancer, a fund- and awareness-raising organization, organized the unprecedented, star-studded live telethon airing simultaneously on ABC, NBC and CBS on Friday night.

Moore, who said his uncle's wife waged a successful three-year fight against cancer, was eager to answer phones for the cause.

"I'm gonna be sweet-talking some people and trying to reach into their pockets," said Moore, who stars on CBS' "Criminal Minds."

Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland said her boyfriend's father died of cancer recently and her brother has been diagnosed with the disease. Sugarland, Melissa Etheridge and others were to close the show with a retooled version of Etheridge's "I Run for Love" — changed to "I Stand for Life."

"I hope I'm going to be able to get through it without crying," Nettles said, noting that Etheridge is a cancer survivor.

Singer-songwriter Jason Mraz, whose hit "The Remedy" was inspired by a friend's battle with bone cancer, also was slated to join the star-studded finale performance.

Rehearsing with Etheridge and others "actually gave me chills," Mraz said. "Their star power is stripped away and they're just human beings today."

Casey Affleck, who was set to help answer donation calls, said he had a secret way to command more contributions.

"I'll probably tell them I'm ... someone more famous and exciting so I can get a bigger donation," he said.

America Ferrera left the "Ugly Betty" cast in New York so she could participate in the fundraiser. The Emmy nominee said she lost a beloved college professor to cancer, and that she hoped the evening would be a "hopeful" one that will inspire those facing the disease.

Hollywood producer Laura Ziskin, one of the telethon's organizers, has fought cancer since 2004. After seeing what "An Inconvenient Truth" did for environmental awareness, Ziskin wanted to make a documentary about cancer, a disease she has fought since 2004.

But, teaming up with two other prominent women, she found another approach.

Former Paramount Pictures chief Sherry Lansing, who established a namesake foundation dedicated to cancer research and awareness, was working with television networks to put on a cancer-awareness TV special. So was Katie Couric, who has been an advocate for early cancer screenings — and even televised her own colonoscopy — since losing her husband to colon cancer 10 years ago.

So the women got together — along with other entertainment-industry execs and more than 60 of their famous friends — to create Stand Up to Cancer.

"I jokingly say I have to make cancer awareness entertaining," said Ziskin, who is producing the show at Hollywood's Kodak Theatre. "The good news is that the entertainment community gets it. We're touched. Look at Patrick Swayze. Look at Christina Applegate. Look at Robin Roberts.

"Cancer is not in the closet anymore, and now that it's out of the closet we have to motivate the public to demand that as a country we do better," she continued. "And if the country won't do it, we'll do it. We'll raise money ourselves and try to spend that money in a way that will lead to better, less toxic treatments that we can get to patients more quickly."

Applegate, who recently underwent a double mastectomy after being diagnosed with breast cancer, is among those set to help deliver the message Friday. She'll be joined by scores of other stars from TV, music and film, including Halle Berry, Forest Whitaker, America Ferrera, Jack Black, Salma Hayek, James Taylor, Carrie Underwood and Rob Lowe.

Celebrities will share their personal experiences with the disease and will help answer phone calls from donors, Ziskin said.

The hourlong show also will include a performance of "Just Stand Up," a charity song featuring Mariah Carey, Mary J. Blige, Beyonce, Rihanna, Fergie, Miley Cyrus, Underwood and others.

Couric and her fellow network news anchors, Charles Gibson and Brian Williams, are set to host the show.

The aim of Stand Up to Cancer is to raise funds for "translational research," Ziskin said, which encourages scientists to collaborate rather than compete, translating basic science into applicable therapies for patients. She compared the approach to the Manhattan project.

"We took the best and brightest and locked them up in Los Alamos and said you can't leave until you split the atom and create, unfortunately, a bomb," Ziskin said. "This is no less a problem, with half a million Americans a year dying from this disease. If we take best and brightest, encourage them and reward them for working together, the answers will come much more quickly."


Read these too:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/02/entertainment/main4407953.shtml

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=5748258&page=1

Once-in-a-Lifetime Moments..

Have you had the urge to start a collection of what I would call "Once-in-a-Lifetime" moments or experiences as part of your life journey?

Well, I have to admit that once you have experienced cancer inside you, the urge to do more and more of these OIAL events gets even more urgent. And for all the right reasons, of course. Time is the most precious commodity now (and yes, a gift), and cancer survivors simply want to make things happen, and in so doing, make our very own time. Does this make sense to you?

OIAL events become even more meaningful too, simply because one can sense that these events may truly turned out to be once only, and no more..

In the world of songs and music, I am happy to say that I have experienced some amazing once-in-a-lifetime moments so far. Top of the list has to be the 'live' concert of "The Police - ReUnion" on the very stage of the Singapore Indoor Stadium, back in Feb earlier this year. Can you feel the "Breath"? Here.. take a feel of Sting's breath, courtesy of a bit of phone technology in the pocket on that magical night..

And then, there's the all-time favourite, Roxanne..

I can feel Sting singing to me whenever I hear this.. who cares if I was on the cheapest seats in the house, and 20 rows away..

I feel good just thinking of this event. And isn't feeling good a crucial part of our post-cancer therapy? And are you "making your very own time" too?

(hubby and I argued over which concert was the nirvana, this or that Eagles "Hell Freezes Over" concert in Singapore 2 years back.. we voted for the Eagles in the end, surely a once-in-a-lifetime moment then)

/gleefully ntangle

The Symbol of Eternity..

Of all the stories, the schoolbooks and the wonders of ancient history, the one that stood out for us most was the history of the great Egyptian era.. and of course, the Great Pyramids of Giza.

Hailed by many as the universal symbol of Eternity, one cannot help but feel small in front of this massive human engineering feat, which has lasted over 4500 years .. yes, it was built in 2560 B.C.!

Being there, right under the shadow of these magnificent pyramids, one can sense that "eternity". Not even the beautiful Sphinx can compare with its majesty and longevity.

I wish a little of this "eternity" has rubbed off on me..

Yes, life can be short..but it was a dream come true to be standing beside the Great Pyramids of Giza.. and holding it by the tip of my fingers, no less!

This is one experience for me that will last for eternity!

( the Great Pyramid itself - the one with the polished tip - can be scaled downwards, right into the very heart, by walking down a tunnel through bended knees. I decided to take the scenic option and opted out, but hubby was game enough to overcome the heat and the claustrophobic tunnel to view the insides.. what a view it must have been!)

The Passing of a Great Teacher..

Prof Randy Pausch has touched millions of people with his "Last Lecture". He touched ours too, when we referred to this lecture in our earlier posting back in March..

http://beatcancer10.blogspot.com/2008/03/prof-pauschs-fight-with-cancer-and-his.html

We took his new "Last Lecture" book with us last month to Athens and Cairo, when we went there for a 12day break. We finished his book by Day#3. Such was his way with words that we simply wanted to continue reading page after page..

A remarkable professor, and a great teacher indeed, as noted by CNN below..

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/books/07/25/obit.pausch/index.html

Here are some gems from his Last Lecture speech..

“…when you see yourself doing something badly and nobody’s bothering to tell you anymore, that’s a very bad place to be. Your critics are the ones telling you they still love you and care.”

“Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.”

“It’s not about how to achieve your dreams, it’s all about leading your life. If you lead your life in a right way, karma will take care of itself. And dreams will come to you.”

[Quoting a CMU secretary]“This advice is good for the ladies: when it comes to men that are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple: just don’t listen to anything they have to say; pay attention to what they do.”

“If I only had three words of advice, they would be, Tell the Truth. If got three more words, I’d add, all the time.”

"Father of Medicine" - Hippocrates & Athens' Acropolis

Long regarded by the world as the "Father of Medicine", Hippocrates was the man whom every doctor pledge allegiance to, through the Hippocratic Oath, which reads:

- To practice and prescribe to the best of my ability for the good of my patients, and to try to avoid harming them (source: Wikipedia)


We came across an alabaster figure of Hippocrates in Athens, while climbing up the Acropolis last month, and we told ourselves that we must bring this figure home for Dr Ang Peng Tiam, even if he has a drawer full of it in his office.

Turns out, at the next appointment on 19June for my blood-test results and the quarterly "ZoMeta transfusion", we were pleasantly surprised that he had none, and accepted our little gift of the bust of Hippocrates with open arms.

To me, Dr Ang is the father of medicine!

And with another set of results in his hands, he said..
"Everything is fine. Continue to live and enjoy your life, Nellie!"

The Acropolis in Athens, regarded as one of the original 7 Wonders of the World, was built where it is today because it is at the very peak of the, then and now, great Greek city of Athens.

I feel I , too, have reached the very peak of my health!

/gleefully ntangle

(the Acropolis is standing precariously today not just because of daily wear & tear from the elements, but also from the threat of earthquakes .. one of which we felt right under our feet on 8th June in our hotel room, and which we found out through the local TV the next day, that the 6.2 tumbler had destroyed multiple Greek towns, only 150 miles west of Athens at the region of Patra!)

A WonderWoman Indeed..

A fellow ovarian cancer warrior, Molly Lee, who took the extraordinary road of dealing with her cancer with her inspirational blog, and touched thousands of people along the way through it, passed away last month. She fought the disease all the way with amazing courage, and in the end, was truly a WonderWoman.

I never got to meet her in person (though hubby&I met her husband briefly when we paid our last respects at her wake), but I feel like I have known her as if we were friends for a long time, by merely 'walking' through her blog ..

http://www.wearewonderwomen.com/ ..and feeling most of what she felt in her postings.

This article on the Today newspaper, says it best..

Wonderwoman loses battle with cancer

Even in the last painful stretch, Molly Lee strove to help her blog’s readers

Friday • May 30, 2008 Today Online, Lin Yanqin yanqin@mediacorp.com.sg

THERE were countless letters to answer, talks to give, and many more women to encourage, but this wonder woman wasn’t able to do it all.

After three years of fighting ovarian cancer, Ms Molly Lee — who had wonVanilla magazine’s inaugural Singapore Woman Award in March for starting a highly-popular blog on cancer — died yesterday morning. Battling her second relapse when she won the award, Ms Lee, 33, was a fighter all the way to end, said husband Josef Lee.

“She was very cheerful, and she had plans,” he said. “She wanted to give talks to women about her experience with cancer, she wanted to reach out to more people.”

The publicity led many to discover her blog — www.WeAreWonderwomen.com — after she was featured in Vanilla magazine as a nominee, the number of hits she received rose from 80 to more than 130 a day.

“I would update her on the comments on her blog every day, and the letters and email she received, and she tried very hard to respond to all of them,” said Mr Lee, 29, a broadcast designer.

This, in spite of being in tremendous pain and discomfort from the disease and the chemotherapy.

“From April, it was just bad news all the way; we were told that the treatment wasn’t working. The tumours were causing her stomach to swell and she couldn’t do anything, she couldn’t sleep for days because of the pain,” added Mr Lee.

Through it all, Ms Lee made sure to update her blog when she could, getting her husband to type her posts when she was too ill to do it herself.

“She felt that it was almost like her responsibility to respond to the readers who were asking her for advice,” said Mr Lee. “At the same time, I think the encouragement from readers gave her a lot of strength, they inspired her too.”

Since Mr Lee posted about Ms Lee passing away yesterday morning, well-wishers have posted more than 20 responses. Said one: “Goodbye Molly, may you rest in peace ... Thank you for inspiring so many of us to be strong and be positive in the way we look at our lives. You will be missed.”

Said Vanilla :assistant editor Ms Pamela Ho, who had interviewed Molly for the magazine: “I think people will remember her strength, the way she never talked like she was going to die. She always talked about the things she liked to do, her favourite food, because she was so optimistic.”

Mr Lee hopes to continue running the blog — which has seen over 23,000 hits since its inception last year — as a place women can go to to share their own experiences fighting cancer and to seek answers to their questions.

“I do hope more women will continue to come and share their experiences,” he said. “That’s what the blog was created for, and I hope to continue it.”

Those who wish to pay last respects to Ms Lee can do so at Punggol Field, Block 203 (Multipurpose Hall), from now until Sunday when the cremation will take place.

Climbing New Walls, Scaling New Heights..

Since cancer crept into my life back in Jan 2006, I had always dreamt that someday, I will be able to scale the longest wall on this planet, with my mother by my side.

Of course, that wall is the Great Wall of China.

So, on a cold and icy morning of Monday, 18Feb ( only a month after China's worst winter storms for nearly half a century), we stood at the base of the Great Wall, with my mother by my side. And with the added bonus of my younger sister beside me, we all scaled the Wall!

It was symbolic for me. And it was steep in meaning too. Having experienced the depths of cancer, I was now scaling new heights, a 'feat' which only 24 months ago, would have been the furthest thing on my mind.

The tingling numbness of the toes was still there from the chemo, but who cares? The beauty of the Great Wall in the middle of winter was no less spectacular.

If my sister, who was also afflicted with cancer barely 9 months after my own diagnosis, and I were able to "make it here", the feeling in me was that nothing in this world could stop us.. yes, nothing can stop me from reaching even greater heights.

Reach out for that symbolic new height, in your own way.. I know it will mean a lot to us as cancer survivors!

/gleefully ntangle

Giving Back..in Our Own Ways

Supporting charitable causes, in whatever small ways, has long been an area of interest for us, although in most cases, they have been of a passing kind.

But once an illness like cancer emerges in your life, you tend to view things differently. All of a sudden, a magnifying-glass-effect starts to get focused on charitable causes that are aligned to your own disease, and those whose lives are also touched by that disease in similar ways.

And so, when we first read that the Terry Fox Run would be held in Sentosa, we took the first drive up to the registration-booth at The Regent Hotel and signed on.. merely 3 months after my chemo cycle in Sept 2006. And on that day, amidst a slight drizzle, over 7000 supporters run the 3 km route around the beach at Sentosa.

Inside of me, it was a personal triumph to be able to complete the route.. it sure felt good to be able to run again!

Since then, we have made it a point to support this "Run for Hope", just like Terry Fox did. And we hope to run every year till we are well into our 70's, if not 80's!

Similarly, when we got the "LiveStrong" wristbands through the post from Lance Armstrong's Foundation last month, we felt a nice tinge in our bodies when we slipped it around our wrist. Anytime we start to take things for granted now or we slip into self-pity, we will pull this rubber wristband so that it snaps back..reminding us of how lucky we are.

The Food-from-the-Heart Foundation, an incredibly simple yet enormously effective charitable cause to bring un-sold food or bread to the less fortunate, again gave us the opportunity to give back. The 'run' we do every week, since Jan 2003, brings us to The Muhammadiyah Welfare Home in Mountbatten, an easy 4km from The Blossom pasterie shop at Paya Lebar SingPost centre. And somehow, this has turned out to be one of the most fulfilling activities for us, week in and week out.

Yes, it is a good feeling..to be able to give back, in our own small ways.

/gleefully ntangle

Prof Pausch's fight with cancer and his "Last Lecture"..

How we deal with the suddenness and enormity of being told by your doctor that "you have cancer", varies in almost the same countless ways as our fingerprints, I feel.

But a man that has given a new twist to handling this dreaded news is Prof Randy Pausch of Carnegie Mellon University. We came across this remarkable man only last month on Oprah. But his story should be spread to all, even with your children. Through the ubiquity of YouTube, his so-called "Last Lecture" to his university students has now been viewed by millions around the world.

Here is Prof. Pausch on Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=362421849901825950

We know you will find it truly inspiring.

/gleefully ntangle

Listening to My Body..

Does this count as listening to my body?

For a few days or so before heading to China for a holiday 17Feb, I had felt a discomfort in my abdominal area. I didn't think much of it. But after China, the discomfort persisted. I felt bloated. Told hubby about it, and we were off to see my gynae the same day. Her assessment was that it could be a muscle strain in that area, and that the best way to know more clearly was to have a full blood test done, with a proper scan. We agreed with her, but decided to have these done with Dr Ang Peng Tiam, given that as our onco, he had been tracking all our blood test results and CT or PET scans since Feb 2006.

The same day, without wasting any time, we got my blood tested at Mt E, and would be seeing Dr Ang the next day for the results.

For some reason, my anxiety level began to build up dramatically. What will happen if the blood test results were showing a higher level than normal for the CA125 cancer marker? Will I be back to the chemo routine again.. pain, vomiting, numbness and yes, hairloss?

Dr Ang gave us the result straight up : "Everything is fine!"

We asked if this is foolproof. What a silly question, on hindsight. Is there such a thing as a foolproof cancer test? He suggested that if you want to get all worries off your mind, then lets get a PET scan done. I was due to have one done anyway, come June. Might as well bring it forward, Doc said.

We agreed. "Can we do it tomorrow?" Doc asked.

"But I have a field trip to a goat farm with the children tomorrow", I replied.

Doc looked at his assistant, as if in amazement that I would put a major cancer detection procedure behind that of a children's field trip. I guess he will not understand..unless he knew how attached I am now to all "my children".

First thing yesterday Monday, we headed to Mt E to prep for the PET scan. It was almost like the 1st PET scan.. long, boring and yes, time for the mind ( 3hours!) to fester and build up both anxiety and fear. Is this normal? Why does knowing what's known seemed more fearsome than not knowing what's to come next? I am referring to that fact that even if the PET scan showed cancer cells spotting along my abdominal area, I would know exactly what to expect next because "I have been there, done that!"

So why this extra element of fear this time around? Who's to say how one's mind truly works? I told Hubby that perhaps this time, I had read more about cancer and how it has impacted other survivors than ever before. In particular, the trials and tribulations of Molly.. captured in her terrific blog ( http://www.wearewonderwomen.com/blog/). We came to know of Molly when we saw her article in a magazine December last year, and have since kept in touch with her and even cross-referenced our own blogs. Her relapse was the trigger in my brain, I supposed. Her courage and honesty is simply inspirational. But her relapse (also from ovarian cancer) may have been gnawing at my mind, subconsciously. It is a wonder..how the brain works.

At 6pm, it was time for the truth in Dr Ang's clinic, which was filled to the brim with patients, as always. In his own inimitable way, Doc said "I think we may have wasted $3000!"

We reassured him, "Dr Ang, it is worth every cent of it!"

A massive relief came over me..I could see Hubby staring at me through the corner of my eye. He knows the worry and yes, fear, inside me just 1 minute ago!

We took our 1st photo with Dr Ang, and quickly head to our favourite steak&ribs joint again.. Tony Roma's.. to celebrate a different type of victory, but a victory all the same.

I am glad I listened to my body..

..gleefully ntangle

"I am secretly very happy with you.."

"I am secretly very happy with you and your progress, Nellie"..Dr Ang Peng Tiam, 03Jan08

Those words from our onco were as sweet to hear as when he told us that Nellie's "cancer is now in remission", back in June 2006 (see earlier posting, dated 30Aug'06).

We walked out of his office, slightly light on our feet..as if we were floating a little. At Killiney's for my cuppa while she continued with her latest infusion, I sms her.."I am so happy today, dear".

She replied "Me too :-) "

It's been almost one full year since we posted our last blog. And what a year it has been! Perhaps it was the stark contrast to the year before but 2007 had been simply wonderful!

Let us give you a pictorial tour of the highlights of '07:

Jan 07.. we took the big step to go into our own business..running a childcare centre!

After over 20 years of corporate life, we felt it was time we try something new. Not just something that would be challenging but also uplifting. And what a lift indeed!

In April, we put our money where our hearts are, and started our new life-chapter right in the centre of Tampines.. Carpe Diem Young Minds Pte Ltd.. a lovely childcare centre in the heartlands.

And just look at the faces of these children (we lovingly called them "our children")..

Seeing them grow, day by day..

Watching them being nourished everyday by their dedicated and caring teachers..

Yes, they nourished us in turn, Nellie especially..

August 07.. and so we said.."Why not run another centre?"

Indeed, and thus was born Carpe Diem Young Hearts Pte Ltd, our 2nd centre also in the heartlands of Tampines. You can tell we just love this township.

Our distinctive outdoor artwork soon became the centre of attraction for the children, and the neighbourhood alike. With such professionally painted, life-like safari animals, who wouldn't be captivated..

Can you guess who the new 'man' in Nellie's life is?

What a cute darling indeed!

Looking back, we can't help but think that this "ed-adventure" of 9 months old will somehow be a lifelong journey for the rest of our lives.

>>gleefully ntangle