"10 Years Already? Time Flies.."

A wonderfully new milestone for me happened yesterday..

Dr Ang Peng Tiam said to me in his Mt E clinic:
"10 years already? Time flies. And your results today look great, Nellie"

And with that, my fight to be cancer-free reaches its 10-year milestone!
Throughout this time, Dr Ang and his personal assistant, Nurse Ace was by my side.

Feeling so grateful right now - I hope this photo of us shows my deep gratitude for them:

Thank you so much, Dr Ang and Nurse Ace!

(Later on, after this 10-second photoshoot, it was back to the chair, for more zoom-zoom drips into my body - a part of my life that few people know about, except my closest)

First to Dr Ang, Then to Work..

First to Dr Ang, then to work..

This sentence reminds me of the old Bata shoe advertisement of "First to Bata, Then to School.."

This month's visit to Dr Ang Peng Tiam's office became a marathon session of sorts..my 4.30pm appointment became an 8.30pm test-of-patience. Dinner had to be the last sandwich from Delifrance from the corner outlet. As long as this wait was for me, I had to remind myself that it is just as long for Dr Ang, and even longer for his staff, who had to still administer my Zoometa booster after his consultation. It was only at 9.15pm that I was able to head to the bus station to hop on the ride home.

 

But it was a ride of comfort, relief and satisfaction, with the words from Dr Ang still ringing in my ears.."Your CT Scan, mamogram and blood test results look great, Nellie!"

I will be more than happy to sit through another 4-hour session to hear those words over and over again, every 6-months. Strong in body, strong in mind..

Dr Ang Peng Tiam : "You are in good shape, Nellie"

To hear your doctor/onco tell you:
"You are in good shape, Nellie"
..it is simply music to my ears!

And Dr Ang Peng Tiam continued by saying that I have "graduated" from PET to CAT.
Meaning, no need for the more expensive PET scans anymore,  when the next appointment with him comes around in 6 months' time.

Excellent news..lets find my graduation gown and mortar board! I wish I could look a little like below..oh, such innocence, sigh..

R-E-M-I-S-S-I-O-N

R-E-M-I-S-S-I-O-N

The 9-letter word that all cancer patients (and warriors) cannot wait to hear from their own oncologist, and on 23 March, I finally heard mine from Dr Ang!

"Have I finally made it? Is it already fully 5 years since the end of the last chemo?", we asked the good doctor in earnest.

Doc replied, "No, you are 3 month short, but your results are so good, I believe you have made it, Nellie!"

What a surge of emotions inside me! These 2 photos really depict everything that's inside me:

Once, I was blurred, from the backdrop.

Now, I am right on 100% focus! And at the forefront of my life!

I did it..

With the help of everyone around me - my family, my father in heaven, my Hubby, my Doc - I have saved my own life!

And to mark the occasion, Hubby bought a lovely ring, right off Orchard Road on the evening itself, to signify that my life has indeed come full circle!

Words cannot describe my gratitude to all who have helped me through this amazing roller-coaster of a journey. That night, as I lay in bed, I said a silent prayer..

(And oh, in case you are wondering, this is no April Fool's joke)

"Doc Talk" by Dr Ang..

Dr Ang Peng Tiam
to George
date Sat, Sep 26, 2009 at 8:34 AM\

subject Re: 'Doc Talk' articles in MYB
Sep 26

Dear George

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement.
The thought of doing the article every fortnight is a bit of a chore. But once I get a theme, it is not too difficult. The feedback I get from readers spurs me to continue writing.

God bless.
PT

---

George wrote:

Dear Dr Ang,

Dropping you a quick note to say that Nellie and I always enjoy reading the *"Doc Talk" segment of MYB* in The Straits Times, whenever you are 'on air'.

(click here: www.parkwaycancercentre.com/mindyourbody )

They are always written with plenty of poignancy and care,and have never failed to give us loads of comfort,and in some articles, entertainment too.

We hope you will continue with it. We continueto be amazed by you and we keep asking ourselves,"Just how does he find the time to do this?".

You are a national treasure!

warm regards,

Nellie&George

(After seeing you Wednesday, we headed straight to the hip Ion Orchard, hoping to totally storm the Louis Vuitton store, still smarting from what you told us that day. It appears that the 'better half' decided that a bowl of $10 hokkaido ramen will do nicely instead. Such is the irony of life..haha)

"I Think You Have Escaped It.."

Yesterday, the first thing that Dr Ang Peng Tiam said to me, as I sat down in front of him..

"I think you have escaped it"

Huh?

Say what, Doc?

When we asked him what that actually meant in his medical lingo, he clarified:

I think you have escaped your cancer, Nellie. Based on my experience and the history of my patients, if there was to be a relapse, it would have happened already. You are passed 3 years since your last chemo/PET scan, right?

We nodded our heads, barely able to contain our joy inside!

Next to the best 5 words I have ever heard ("Your cancer is in remission"), these 6 words come pretty close on the joy-o-meter.

My hubby and I looked at each other for a few seconds, not being able to fully fathom the depth or meaning of Dr Ang's sweet 6 words.

And then it sank in, at home..

"I am an escapee!"

And this is where a girl skips and hops out of the hospital ..and into the hip-and-shining Ion Orchard, heart filled to the brim with joy, right?

Thank you, God. Thank you, Dad. Thank you, everyone who had helped me through this..

The Link between Stress and Cancer..

The following is an extract from an article title ‘The link between stress and cancer ‘ by Dr. Ang Peng Tiam in “Mind Your Body” of the Strait Times dated 18 December 2008:

I remember a conversation in 1992, when Professor Sun Yan, a renowned oncologist from Beijing, visited Singapore.

He was asked whether he believed that stress can cause cancer.

Without hesitation, he said: 'Of course, stress definitely causes cancer.'

I was taken aback and asked him why he gave such a confident response. He went on to talk about the Cultural Revolution in China.During that period, between 1965 and 1975, ordinary Chinese people came under tremendous psychological stress.

Betrayal by friends and family, oppression of thought and mandatory and harsh new routines created an upheaval in their lives.'During that period, I was already a doctor and there was a sudden rise in the number of cancer patients in all the hospitals,' Prof Sun related.'We saw many more cancer patients. The common factor among them was the tremendous psychological stress they were all experiencing. That's why I'm sure that stress is one of the causes of cancer.'

At the time, I had doubted his conclusion. Today, after more than 20 years in the field of oncology, I am more inclined to believe him.

So how does stress cause cancer?Evidence from animal and human studies has shown that chronic stress weakens the immune system which is responsible for constant surveillance within our bodies for infections and cancers.This system seeks out and destroys abnormal cancer cells which may arise from time to time.

When it fails, the cells can go undetected and grow into malignant tumours.For the same reason, patients suffering from Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome, or post-kidney transplant patients on immunosuppressive drugs, are more prone to developing certain cancers.

There is also some data suggesting that cancer patients who feel helpless and have negative emotions tend to be worse off. The 'bad vibes' promote the growth or spread of cancer, although this relationship was not consistently seen in all the studies.

So how can anyone, particularly a cancer patient, cope with stress?Faith in God is one way. By entrusting one's life to a supreme being, the burden is taken off oneself.

Exercise, meditation, leisure activities, counselling and use of anti-anxiety drugs may all help in improving one's psychological well-being too.

Even though I sometimes struggle to see the many patients waiting to see me, I constantly remind myself to practise what I preach: 'Be happy and live each day to its fullest'.

You don't need science to tell you that.

Dr Ang, the medical director of Parkway Cancer Centre, has been treating cancer patients for nearly 20 years. In 1996, he was awarded Singapore's National Science Award for his outstanding contributions to medical research.

CNA's TV program on Ovarian Cancer

Did you watch the full program on ovarian cancer on Channel News Asia (CNA)?
So many things to learn from this TV program. Please take the opportunity to watch this full version:

http://www.parkwaycancercentre.com/multimedia/journey-of-hope/ovarian-cancer-part-1

5-in-1 Test at Year #3..

For the first time, Dr Ang Peng Tiam suggested that I go through a series of tests to round out what had seemed like a fantastic first 3 years, post-chemo. It was to cover..

1. my mammogram

2. my bone density

3. my cholesterol level

4. my overall blood test incl CA 125

5. and the big one, my CT Scan

Even with all the 'experience' of needles and numerous tests before, one cannot help but feel a little uneasy at the thought of all 5 tests being done at one go. Wouldn't the chances of something 'negative' popping up be quite high from these large series of tests?

I thought it would be best to get them over and be done with, once and for all.

So, on Saturday 28March, I trooped into Mt E, with hubby in tow, to face this 5-in-1 test like a good warrior should. First, it was the blood test. Then the bone test. Followed by the mammogram and lastly, the CT scan.

And on Monday, in Dr Ang's spanking new office, he said..

"All's fine, Nellie! You are in great shape!"

What a huge relief..again!

As you can see from these "Before" and "After" photos of the test, my face told a thousand stories.

I happily sat on the new recreation-chair outside of Dr Ang's room for my usual R&R ..a shot of Zometa, to strenthen the bones and wipe out any remaining unwanted cells.

Another good day at the office..as they would say in the corporate world.

Yes.. many, many more to come, I would say!

Nellie featured in "HealthNews" by ParkwayHealth

'If I have to, I'll fight it again' ..

I was asked to be featured in Parkway Healthcare's PCC newsletter in November, and I agreed.

Here's the full story published this month ..one that I am particularly happy with because my Mum and sister are both shown standing by my side. A lovely family moment for me..

http://www.parkwaycancercentre.com/healthnews/english/January2009/004_newsandevents_healthnews_2009_jan1.htm

CNA's TV program on "A Journey of Hope"..

3 weeks ago, Dr Ang Peng Tiam's office called to asked if I would be supportive of a TV program on cancer, called "A Journey of Hope". I naturally said "Yes, of course".. anything I can do to help support such a cause, I would be more than glad to do so.

Until.. I realised that I was supposed to be one of the subjects on the TV program itself! The program was to show how ovarian cancer has impacted women in Singapore, how it is now the 4th highest cancer incidence hitting women here, and how some women, afflicted by it, had been dealing with and managing this form of cancer.

"You mean I will be filmed for it.. on camera?", I asked the good doctor.

Yes, this would be the 1st time that I would be put on film.. and on TV!

I decided that it would be a worthy cause.. sharing my story, and in a way, going public. CNA wanted to film me in natural settings, so the producer, a lovely lady called Amelia, decided that the shoots would best be taken in the childcare centre where I work, and the East Coast Park, where I spend my relaxation hours.

I sms'd Hubby to ask if he was ok with it. He replied, "Sure, so long as it doesn't impact your health"..in his usual tongue-in-cheek way.

And so, on Wedn 03 Sept, the 5th episode of "A Journey of Hope" was aired. It featured 2 other fellow ovarian cancer warriors. One as young as 18. How can this be? Why is this cancer hitting women at a younger and younger age? It just doesn't seem right that this is happening.

After watching the episode in full, I was glad I plucked up the courage to support this program. The message on ovarian cancer must be told to more women. Only with an increase in awareness, can this insidious cancer be minimized, if not stopped.

Here are a few clips of this 5th episode on "A Journey of Hope".. (this battle on ovarian cancer must start with a higher awareness, then knowledge, then courage..and then there shall be hope!)

/gleefully ntangle

Listening to My Body..

Does this count as listening to my body?

For a few days or so before heading to China for a holiday 17Feb, I had felt a discomfort in my abdominal area. I didn't think much of it. But after China, the discomfort persisted. I felt bloated. Told hubby about it, and we were off to see my gynae the same day. Her assessment was that it could be a muscle strain in that area, and that the best way to know more clearly was to have a full blood test done, with a proper scan. We agreed with her, but decided to have these done with Dr Ang Peng Tiam, given that as our onco, he had been tracking all our blood test results and CT or PET scans since Feb 2006.

The same day, without wasting any time, we got my blood tested at Mt E, and would be seeing Dr Ang the next day for the results.

For some reason, my anxiety level began to build up dramatically. What will happen if the blood test results were showing a higher level than normal for the CA125 cancer marker? Will I be back to the chemo routine again.. pain, vomiting, numbness and yes, hairloss?

Dr Ang gave us the result straight up : "Everything is fine!"

We asked if this is foolproof. What a silly question, on hindsight. Is there such a thing as a foolproof cancer test? He suggested that if you want to get all worries off your mind, then lets get a PET scan done. I was due to have one done anyway, come June. Might as well bring it forward, Doc said.

We agreed. "Can we do it tomorrow?" Doc asked.

"But I have a field trip to a goat farm with the children tomorrow", I replied.

Doc looked at his assistant, as if in amazement that I would put a major cancer detection procedure behind that of a children's field trip. I guess he will not understand..unless he knew how attached I am now to all "my children".

First thing yesterday Monday, we headed to Mt E to prep for the PET scan. It was almost like the 1st PET scan.. long, boring and yes, time for the mind ( 3hours!) to fester and build up both anxiety and fear. Is this normal? Why does knowing what's known seemed more fearsome than not knowing what's to come next? I am referring to that fact that even if the PET scan showed cancer cells spotting along my abdominal area, I would know exactly what to expect next because "I have been there, done that!"

So why this extra element of fear this time around? Who's to say how one's mind truly works? I told Hubby that perhaps this time, I had read more about cancer and how it has impacted other survivors than ever before. In particular, the trials and tribulations of Molly.. captured in her terrific blog ( http://www.wearewonderwomen.com/blog/). We came to know of Molly when we saw her article in a magazine December last year, and have since kept in touch with her and even cross-referenced our own blogs. Her relapse was the trigger in my brain, I supposed. Her courage and honesty is simply inspirational. But her relapse (also from ovarian cancer) may have been gnawing at my mind, subconsciously. It is a wonder..how the brain works.

At 6pm, it was time for the truth in Dr Ang's clinic, which was filled to the brim with patients, as always. In his own inimitable way, Doc said "I think we may have wasted $3000!"

We reassured him, "Dr Ang, it is worth every cent of it!"

A massive relief came over me..I could see Hubby staring at me through the corner of my eye. He knows the worry and yes, fear, inside me just 1 minute ago!

We took our 1st photo with Dr Ang, and quickly head to our favourite steak&ribs joint again.. Tony Roma's.. to celebrate a different type of victory, but a victory all the same.

I am glad I listened to my body..

..gleefully ntangle

"I am secretly very happy with you.."

"I am secretly very happy with you and your progress, Nellie"..Dr Ang Peng Tiam, 03Jan08

Those words from our onco were as sweet to hear as when he told us that Nellie's "cancer is now in remission", back in June 2006 (see earlier posting, dated 30Aug'06).

We walked out of his office, slightly light on our feet..as if we were floating a little. At Killiney's for my cuppa while she continued with her latest infusion, I sms her.."I am so happy today, dear".

She replied "Me too :-) "

It's been almost one full year since we posted our last blog. And what a year it has been! Perhaps it was the stark contrast to the year before but 2007 had been simply wonderful!

Let us give you a pictorial tour of the highlights of '07:

Jan 07.. we took the big step to go into our own business..running a childcare centre!

After over 20 years of corporate life, we felt it was time we try something new. Not just something that would be challenging but also uplifting. And what a lift indeed!

In April, we put our money where our hearts are, and started our new life-chapter right in the centre of Tampines.. Carpe Diem Young Minds Pte Ltd.. a lovely childcare centre in the heartlands.

And just look at the faces of these children (we lovingly called them "our children")..

Seeing them grow, day by day..

Watching them being nourished everyday by their dedicated and caring teachers..

Yes, they nourished us in turn, Nellie especially..

August 07.. and so we said.."Why not run another centre?"

Indeed, and thus was born Carpe Diem Young Hearts Pte Ltd, our 2nd centre also in the heartlands of Tampines. You can tell we just love this township.

Our distinctive outdoor artwork soon became the centre of attraction for the children, and the neighbourhood alike. With such professionally painted, life-like safari animals, who wouldn't be captivated..

Can you guess who the new 'man' in Nellie's life is?

What a cute darling indeed!

Looking back, we can't help but think that this "ed-adventure" of 9 months old will somehow be a lifelong journey for the rest of our lives.

>>gleefully ntangle

The Seed + Soil Theory

Kylie Minogue has it..
Sheryl Crow has it..
Heather Clarke had it..
Koh Chieng Mun has it..

My hubby's sis-in-law has it..
And now, my sister too has it..

What is happening to our society that is bringing this dreadful disease to the famous and the ordinary women folks like us? And why does it appear to be hitting us younger and younger?

Is it the food we eat? Is it the clothings we wear or the perfumes we splash on? Or is our day-to-day inactive office lifestyle making it conducive for cancer cells to grow and multiply? I wonder..

We asked the good doctor on the very day when Nellie 's cancer was declared as being in remission, the one question that had been on our minds all those 6 months through chemo:

"So how and why was it that Nellie was stricken with this cancer in the first place, Doc?"

His answer took us by surprise. Based on our best recollection, this is what he tried to tell us in the simplest terms:

He said he believes in the "seed and soil" theory. Our body is constantly exposed to cancer-causing stuffs called carcinogens.. things we eat, stuff we breathe. But our body's immune system battles against these carcinogens and wins. Almost always. But there comes a time when our body's natural immune system meets with a cancer-causing agent but fails to wipe it out and flush it off our body. This one abnormal cell starts to multiply and therein lies the beginnings of a cancer growth.

So what caused the body's immune system to fail us, we asked? His answer.. stress!
Stress from everyday life.. from work, from family, from relationships. Therein lies his "seed and soil" theory. The seed (cancer-causing agent) happens to sit on the soil (an organ in our body) at the very moment when the soil was 'weakened', so to speak, by stress.

Does this makes sense? We looked into Nellie's past. She's a relatively active lady, meaning she works out in the gym at least once a week, jogs when she can and plays golf perhaps twice a month. As recent as last August, she took her regular healthscreening test and all seemed fine. But taking another deeper look, we realised that she was indeed subjected to some serious stressful situations, both at work and within the family.

We can only look back and connect some dots. But can it be true what the doc said .. that stress could be the big culprit afterall? Till today, we look back and wonder... perhaps the smart thing to do is to make a vow to not let any stress bring us depressingly down from here on. With the benefit of hindsight, this makes perfect sense to us, and we hope it gives you something to think about too, for health's sake.

And please, do listen to your body and if something is not normal, go and have it checked early! As I write this, the results of my sister's report was told to me.. she's in Stage 1. Her surgeon added.." it's a good thing your sister came to us early". Thank God, indeed.

>>gleefully ntangle

"Your cancer is in remission!!"

The days after the 6th chemo were filled with so much anticipation.. half my mind was fighting the usual aches in the bones and numbness, but the other half was awaiting the final results. Will this war with my cancer be ultimately declared successful, or will more treatment be required? All the 5 blood tests todate appear to show consistently good results, esp the CA125 marker, which tracks the cancer cells for ovarian cancer.

However one last test was recommended by Dr Ang Peng Tiam, one called a "PET Scan". It will allow him to see cell activities.. cancer cells being more active than normal cells. If no red patches show up in the scan, then all's well. He calls this the test to confirm all the past blood tests.

15June.. the scan took a full 5 hours to complete at Mt E, which supposedly is the only hospital in Spore to have this technology.

16June.. Time to see Dr Ang for the PET Scan result. I had a strange feeling.. like I was about to receive my school exam results.. butterflies-in-the-tummy time. Hubby and I sat in front of Dr Ang, his left hand holding my right, as if in joint prayer. And then, the 5 words I had been nervously waiting for..

"Your cancer is in remission!!"

He carried on .. "You can now go back to normal life, Nellie. You can do anything you want and eat anything you want." My hubby chimed in, "Including durians, doc?". He replied in the affirmative.

160606.. this is a day I will remember for the rest of my life. As much as 19Jan took almost everything out from inside me, this day brought just about everything back into my body. I can now wake up in the morning with confidence, laugh in the day with joy and go to bed in the night with peace inside me. We thank Dr Ang profusely. And we asked him if he could do us the honour of autographing his book.. the very book which brought us to him in the first place. And he wrote... (see pic below).

We headed out to celebrate at my favourite steakhouse..Tony Roma's.

Yes, I have won this battle for my life!

Yes, I am now a cancer survivor, I am proud to say.

Where do I begin in thanking all those who have helped me along this tough, long road to recovery? My mum and sisters.. your wonderful food and your continuous support to fight this evil. My friends.. your visits, your thoughts and words of encouragement, and your Korean DVDs! And a huge thank-you to Dr Goh whose keen eye caught the disease early on 19Jan, and to the magical hands of Dr Ang and his talented team.

And of course, Dad.. I know you are watching over me..

>>gleefully ntangle

The book that changed our lives..

On the very day of her surgery, a rather inconspicuous article in the "Today" newspaper caught my attention, as I sat at the lounge waiting area of the hospital.

It was titled "One in 4 S'poreans will die of cancer", and carried on.." Driven by harsh figures, oncologist writes book for parents, families". The book was titled "Doctor, I Have Cancer. Can You Help Me?" And the oncologist? Dr Ang Peng Tiam.

Few things could ever compare the irony of the situation that I was in.. here I was at the very day of my wife's surgery that could potentially save her life, and there it was, an article on cancer in the papers saying one in four people will die of cancer. But reading into the article a bit more, it was billed as a book of hope. I made it a point to seek out the book as soon as I could. I showed it to Nellie and said to her that this book will bring something new to our fight against the cancer.

"I read the book within a day! Filled with pictures, it was easy to read and clearly showed how the most aggressive of cancers can be stopped from spreading further, if not fully cured. In my mind, I was half dreading what's to become of me in the months ahead, but also what I can do inside me to win this fight... literally, the fight of my life. The book put in all together for me, from what others have had to go through to what expectations I should carry with me, as I walk down this war path. I am going to try to be as positive as I can, and if mind over matter has anything to do with it, I will give it a very good try !!"

After reading it, we both decided immediately that Dr Ang will be her oncologist from here on.

Fate has a way of bringing together what looked like the most disconnected of things. What were the chances of me ending up reading that article on Dr Ang's cancer book? And on the very day of her surgery, no less. Looking back, one has to marvel at the ironically fortuitous circumstances of it all.. indeed, the book literally brought us both plenty of hope! And of course, Dr Ang himself.

"Relative 5-Years Survival Rate is.."

Hitting the Net immediately when I returned from hospital, I began searching for information on anything cancer, and in particular, ovarian cancer.

http://www.cancer.org/ gave the most comprehensive and easily understood details, posting information from the American Cancer Society. It showed clearly how ovarian cancer is staged, or how widespread it is. More important to me was a small table titled "Relative 5-Years Survival Rate", showing all 10 Stages, from Stage 1A to Stage 4. It refers to the percentage of patients who live at least 5 years after their cancer had been diagnosed.. 92% for Stage 1A and at Stage 4...17.5%... a chill ran down my spine.

Nellie's 3-day stay at the R Hospital was relatively smooth. Fed with her Mum's best soups and porridge, and with comforting visits by family and friends, she soon gained enough strength to return home.

4 days later, it was time to see her gynae again for her final results to be revealed, showing the staging of her ovarian cancer.

" I remember saying to myself, 'Be brave. Lets get the full story from Dr Goh' , and then take it from there. But what awaited me was more then I could handle. The doc said that not only has the tumour grown to such an enormous size, it has also spread to the womb lining, the ommentum.

She continued, "I am afraid your cancer is at Stage 3C!"

My husband and I held our hands, and wept. A minute later, and still fearing for the worst, he asked Dr Goh to give it to us in plain English what a Stage 3 cancer really meant... ' about 30% chance of survival' was her answer. My head was spinning. It took awhile to soak it all up. We thank the doc and took a sombre drive home. In the bathroom, I fell onto my husband's shoulder and sobbed.."

>>gleefully ntangle